Steps To Take To End Codependency In Your Relationships

By Ruthie Calderon


Your entire life has been inter-reliant. Your narcissistic and alcoholic parents have influenced this lifestyle. You have consequently engaged in numerous narcissistic relationships. You identify yourself with what you are to others and what you give them. This means your life is a codependency. In order for your personality to escape this rut, you have to take a number of steps. They will enable you look deep into yourself and reveal your authentic, beautiful and true self.

The first idea is the creation of relationships with ourselves. (Runaway Bride) has a scene where Julia Roberts plays a character who makes an ultimate decision. She decides never to choose eggs as preferred by her partners ever again but to make her own choice. We have to take time in focusing on our preferences, likes and dislikes. We must learn everything about what makes us happy and unhappy. We need to find ways to deal and cope in a healthy manner that which makes us unhappy.

It is crucial that we establish personal boundaries. The importance in this lies in enabling us to stop people pleasing. Fundamental personal boundaries forms include learning how to say no and precisely where to draw the line. A superb example is refusing to allow someone convince us to perform an act we do not wish. This is irrespective of this person manipulating us using negative comments. Our relationships will improve once we enforce our boundaries this way.

Trusting and listening to our own feelings and intuition is strategic. We need to observe what are our exact thoughts and feelings. We need to remind ourselves that it is allowable to make our own judgements and form our own opinions.

Honoring someones own intentions and needs is yet another important step. Most co-dependent people make decisions based upon what someone else wants and not for their own betterment. This creates a sense of fear before such an individual utters a word. Such a person must question their intention behind their words or actions. This lets them understand their individual motives and ideas rather than allowing other people define these for them. It assists them in developing self-respect and confidence making it easier to communicate their own needs to everyone else.

Creating your own positive space is another crucial step. You achieve this once you learn to differentiate between supporting someone with a problem rather than taking responsibility for that persons problem. This realization enables you create your personal positive space. Establishment of boundaries where everybody else ends and yours begins happens this way.

Finally, you have to make a commitment to uplift your own self-confidence and esteem. Existing your co-dependent status will take time and steadfastness. The more you know who you are and what you want, the less people will upset you. A year may be spent making mistakes. Another discovering them and learning from them. A third involves practicing loving yourself. The fourth may involve accepting, awareness and solidification of your inner loving kindness.

Ultimately, we are responsible for our own happiness. What we create in ourselves is later artfully transferable to others. In our dynamic and vibrant world, loving ourselves makes all of us stronger.




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