A Bit Of Chaos Is Good For You

By Evan Sanders


You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star - Nietzsche

"Go to the deepest darkest place you can allow yourself to be and see if you can find a little light up in the top right corner?"

Yes, I saw that little light. For years, I was under the impression that light was something called resilience. What I did not know was that the light was actually joy. How could joy exist in this amazingly dark moment? How could joy be present in this awful and terrible time?

I can recollect how it felt in that bad moment. Everything was totally black. The darkest black you could even imagine. If you have ever seen a black table that has been lacquered thousands of times, the depths seem unending. This situation and time in my life was this sort of black which was as thick is molasses.

However, there somehow was light. The only issue was, I wasn't looking for it.

It is not going to be simple for me to go back to this place. There are a considerable number of things that I have buried deep so no one could ever find them. Thing is, I knew they were there. They've been there the entire time. I have been so afraid to let them bubble up that I've put on my shoes and run from my past straight into the future and have utterly forgotten about the present. That's really no way to live life. That's not how my life will be lived from this point on.

This place, while dark, can be illuminated. Like all dark places, bring a bright enough lantern into it and you can begin to see things as they are and not just how your frightened mind has translated them to be. So I'm going to be bringing that light in.

Into the depths we travel.




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