How To Cope With Disappointment

By Hal Neff


Everyone faces disappointments in life, both big and small. Unfortunately, most of us tend to complain and whine about our own issues to the immense irritation of other people.

It's important to acknowledge our disappointments and not simply dismiss them, but how can we apply it appropriately without being a nag to others? The answer lies in learning constructive ways to acknowledge disappointments.

* Disappointment can build personality and patience if you allow it to. Learning to manage your disappointments constructively will make you a stronger person in the end.

Coping with Disappointment

The very first thing you need to do in learning to handle disappointment is acknowledge your own old coping strategies. Everyone has them. Do you reach for the pint of ice cream or pull away into a room all alone? Do you get intoxicated and try to forget?

Once you acknowledge that your old strategy isn't working, it is time to build a fresh one.

Listed below are Five methods for successfully handling your disappointments:

1 . Recognize what you feel. You could honestly convey the emotions you feel without blaming or punishing other people. It is about how you feel about the circumstance, not others. State your feelings without attacking others. Always be respectful, but do not be scared to let them know how you feel.

* There isn't a right or wrong way to feel. Your emotions are valid and if you don't voice your opinion then you'll harbor bitterness and stress yourself out. Be honest with yourself about how you really feel about the situation.

2 . Put things in viewpoint. Even small disappointments can be monumental at first. But once you have expressed your pain, frustration, or fury, take a step back and look at the larger picture. How much of an effect is this disappointment going to have on you the next day, next week, or next year?

* Take a breath and go for a walk to put your own disappointment into perspective. Taking time to reflect and step away from the situation will help relax your nerves so you'll be much better able to handle the disappointment.

3. Refuse to doubt yourself. Often disappointment can make you feel like a failure. You might wonder why these things happen to you or you may think you were stupid to get your hopes up in the first place. But none of that is the truth. Don't allow yourself to give in to these negative thoughts!

*Disappointment is not unique to you. People have been disappointed at some point in their life. Instead of getting down on yourself, think about what could have been done differently and learn from the experience.

4. Look for a solution or compromise. You cannot have your way all the time but sometimes there might be a second choice that is agreeable to each party.

* Take a few deep breaths, relax, and look for the "silver lining. " It's possible to find something positive in almost every circumstance.

5. Reevaluate and make changes if possible. Sometimes when we encounter disappointment, it may be a sign that we need to re-examine our priorities. Based on the level of disappointment you are dealing with, you may need to make minor or major changes to your life.

* Learn to be flexible. Refocusing your attention on your new goals will help you forget about your disappointment.

Do not Give Up

Anyone who has had even a small degree of success in life has encountered disappointments.

* Winners just don't quit. They learn from their downfalls and disappointments and carry on to achieve their goals.

You could become your own biggest driving force! Do not underestimate the power of encouraging yourself by saying, "I can do this. I can make it. I will make it through this and be a better individual!"

You do not need to enable disappointment to lower your self-confidence. That's not to say that you should gloss over your feeling, you could simply learn how to deal with your disappointments effectively, then move on to bigger and better things.




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